Let Love Grow
by EggDropSoup
Summary: Complete! One-shot. She stayed that way, frozen in time with the smashed remains of her broken heart. It wasn't long before the distant rumbling of thunder and flashes of lightning caught up with her. Droplets of rain began to fall.


Disclaimer: I don't own Gundam Wing. This is also the very first fic I ever wrote. For that reason, I won't ever delete this one. :) Every other fic I might toss out or become bored with it. But this is where I began and how I began finding my one style in writing. So please regard this story kindy!

**Let Love Grow  
**By EggDropSoup

Relena sat in the midst of her office. Papers were stacked in piles on her desk and over the years she had come to know the files and labels as her only companions. She idly flipped through one and then the other. Glancing every couple minutes at the clock on the wall in front of her.

She set down her pen and let loose of the ribbon that restricted her golden tresses, as she stretched her arms, yawned, and rubbed her tired eyes from the exhaustion the day had brought. She unbuttoned the top two buttons of her collar as she switched on the fan. Having decided that she was finally comfortable again, she reached out her hand for the next folder, but it came into contact with a wooden surface instead.

Her eyes narrowed in confusion as she looked up at what she touched. It was a picture frame. It was laying face down with its mahogany back the only thing visible. She took it in her right hand and brought it closer to her face and looked at whose picture was in it. "Heero…" she said quietly as her eyes widened slightly. She began to shake violently and her grasp on the frame loosened, causing glass fragments to scatter upon the floor.

"Miss Relena?" her secretary called from outside the office door. "I heard a crash, is everything all right?"

"Everything's fine." Relena tried to contain the emotion in her voice but it began to grow hoarse.

"Are you sure, Miss Relena?" The secretary asked again.

"Yes, I'm sure." Relena said more loudly this time as she bent down and began to pick up the tiny pieces of glass with her shaky hands. She winced as she felt one of her blind wandering fingers touch an unseen fragment. It took a while to finish gathering up all the pieces, yet the picture of Heero had not moved from its fallen place on the floor.

She starred at it with sad, painful eyes and her fighting spirit, the light that shined so strong inside her, diminished. She let herself fall to the ground, her legs to tired and to weak to hold herself up. Her fingers began to move involuntarily toward the picture, she gazed at it tenderly, knowing she was crying, as the tears dotted the carpet she laid on. She closed her eyes as to dam the rivers pouring out of them, while memories that were so long forgotten had been so soon remembered.

_You know that you're such a lonely child_

_Did you ever let me know?_

_You say our love was an oversight _

_And now that you're gone you can grow _

"Heero! No! Wait! Don't leave me all alone." She ran to him, grabbing his arm and hugging it fiercely. Afraid of it being the last time she would touch him. He glanced down at her now trembling form, his once compassionate eyes now hard, cold, and cruel. He jerked his hand free from her grasp and continued on walking, ignoring the muffled sobs that escaped her mouth as she fell to her knees.

_And there you go_

_There you go _

_She stayed that way, frozen in time with the smashed remains of her broken heart. It wasn't long before the distant rumbling of thunder and flashes of lightning caught up with her. Droplets of rain began to fall, she neither knew nor cared what was happening, she was now only just an empty shell. The bridge that had once connected her to her sanity was broken and now she was truly alone. _

_She remained in that state for hours, with her now lifeless looking aquamarine orbs glazed over to that of a gray blue. She raised the hand that she had last touched him with to her cheek and held it there, for it was her only source of comfort. Numb to the cold of her wet clothes and to the pain that burned within her breast. _

_Love is emotion and wanderlust_

_And feelings too deep for a song_

_But love is decision and sacrifice_

_And without them love can't go on _

Relena chocked back a sob as her hand absentmindedly went to her cheek. She stroked it in mocking memory while the tears began to fall faster.

She returned to the Peacecraft mansion drenched from the rain, her hair tangled and knotted and while dirt clung to her clothes. She opened the door slowly and walked in not saying anything as Millardo, noticing the open door, looked up from the newspaper he had been reading. His warm smile was quickly replaced with worry as he ran to her side. He took off his jacket and placed it about her shoulders, and held onto her waist, to help her from falling down from fatigue. "Relena! What happened? Why are you in this condition? Never mind. You can explain later, get upstairs and dry off. I don't want you to get sick."

_But there you go_

_There you go_

Her eyes were so lifeless that it scared him. She was no longer a diplomat, a woman, a sister, or a friend all that remained of her was the empty shell of a person who was once great. A person who had given up on everything she had come to know and love. "I could care less if I die. My life is meaningless now, I have nothing to live for." She walked past him, her legs stumbling beneath her as she struggled to maintain what little balance she had.

_There you go_

_There you go_

Once in her room, Relena went on a rampage. She was full of madness from depression, looking for anything to end it all with. She came upon a metal letter opener and disregarded the case that it came in.

The dull blade was the only object of her salvation and she urgently worked it against her wrist. It was a slow, horribly painful process and Relena had never felt such a longing for it to end. The letter opener failed to break much of the skin and Relena soon gave up hope as she threw it to the side.

Relena held up her wrists, eying the scars and bruises that still remained there. She shook her head franticly, trying to make her living nightmare go away.

_Bring back the flowers of spring in this heart_

_Heal up the wounds that have torn us apart_

_Fall like the rain in the mist of a drought_

_And whenever you go_

_Let love grow_

_Relena spent days locked up in the quiet solitude of her room. It wasn't long before those days turned into weeks and her lack of eating and rest began to take its toll on her body, as she began to appear small and frail. She had spent countless hours crying and she had soon begun to shut herself off from the world. Her friends had each tried to find ways to help her cheer up, but all of the given advice was either ignored or listened to and then later forgotten. Only one friend was persistent in visiting everyday and that was Hilde._

_"Relena! Hey! Come on, I heard there's a sale at the mall today! I bet you'd just love to get out of this coped up room and have some fresh air and fun, right?" Hilde smiled._

_"There's no point." Relena said dryly. "No point in doing anything anymore."_

_Hilde's eyes narrowed having lost the last of her patience. "Listen Relena! Everyone has had enough of your sorry little attitude. We understand that you're feeling awful and that's ok. Everyone has ruff times, you just got to live with it, but closing yourself off from the world doesn't make it t any better, trust me."_

"It's just so hard." Relena whimpered as she cast down her eyes, allowing her bangs to conceal them from the sadness and grief all around her. Hilde's eye's softened at her friend's expression of inner turmoil and she pulled Relena into a hug. "I know it is…but you've got your friends to help you."

_Relena sighed. "But is life still worth living for?"_

_Time to pick up these pieces and start again_

_And draw a new map of the world_

_The regeneration of all creation_

_Begins with a soul that will turn_

_The next couple days Relena began her journey to forget Heero and the love she had for him. The more she tried to push him out of her mind, the more he was there to haunt her, and her own anger toward herself for loving him grew even greater. She would see his face in the clouds or in the corner of her eye, but when she turned around he was always gone. She began to chase these meaningless fantasies, to look around every which way of every street corner, hoping she would see a glimpse of him; paranoia soon began to plague her dreams. _

_So here I go_

_Here we go _

She slept sleepless nights and her work suffered as she began to take prescriptions for heavy medication. It worked for a while but she would have sudden fits and emotional outbursts, but her doctors advised that her symptoms were normal and the medication would once again take affect.

She had traveled a long way since then; the medication along side a therapist had worked wonders. It seemed that she was finally getting her life back. That is until she saw the picture.

_Bring back the flowers of spring in this heart_

_Heal up the wounds that have torn us apart_

_Fall like the rain in the mist of a drought_

_And whenever you go_

_Let love grow_

"Why did this happen? I was so close…so close to forgetting him. How can one picture have so much affect on me?" She cried as she buried her face in her hands.

_You still harness deep emotions for this man… _a voice answered her from the back of her mind.

_You forget that you have a human heart. _This time a second voice mocked her.

_And a heart that has been broken does not altogether heal; it still carries the afflicted pain. _

_You thought you could avoid that pain, but all you did was merely delay the harsh wake up call. _

_You did it in order to protect yourself but all you did was hurt the ones around you. _

_That's how foolish humans are, selfish of their emotions. They think they can even fool themselves from what is real and what is not, but deep inside every human soul lies the truth, and if you lock it away, it will only surface…and destroy you. _

_Such emotion is love and if you continue to deny those feelings, it will indeed lead to your end. _

"How could I love him still? He left me. He doesn't love me. Love has to be mutual for both parities, not one sided." Relena whispered, still hiding her face in her hands.

_Bring back the flowers of spring in this heart_

_Heal up the wounds that have torn us apart_

_Fall like the rain in the mist of a drought_

_And whenever you go_

_There you go_

_You know as well as we do that Heero does not comprehend love. _

_To him, such an emotion is a nuisance, and so it lies dormant, imprisoned deep inside of him. _

_The wages of war have hardened his heart and yet even when he told you he would kill you, you treated him like he had just given you the greatest gift in the world. _

_Wherever you go_

_There you go_

"He did give me something great. He gave me hope. What I am is because of him." Relena reasoned.

_Then tell us, why could he not kill you? Its ironic how he promised your death and also to protect you, is it not? _

_Face the truth of how you cannot forget him. _

_You try to bury your feelings in an empty drawer and seal it away… _

_…But all you'll do is stumble upon it again… _

_When your feelings are once again released, your desires for him will be even stronger… _

_And then the madness that is love will over take you. _

_Wherever you go_

_There you go_

"What?" Relena stared wide-eyed. "Do I still love him?" The yearning pain that she felt in the depths of her soul was enough to answer that. She picked herself up into a sitting position.

"I'll start afresh this time. I know I will never be able to love anyone other than him, and I accept that. I won't hide them inside a drawer, but I won't let them loose either." She glanced at the picture in front of her and picked it up. She gazed at it for a while and then closed her eyes as if to let time sit still for this moment. "I will always love, Heero. And my heart will never truly be happy till I am with him again. So I'll wait, till once again our paths may cross. And then, I'll be ready. Ready to confess the things I wish I had before." She slowly opened her eyes and smiled warmly at the picture. She whispered a faint goodbye as she put it inside a drawer. Taking a deep breath she sat back down in her chair and returned to her paper work.

This time she would allow her love to grow…

_Let love grow_

_You got to let love grow_

**End.**


End file.
